Out of my hands

Literally...... I have been wavering on applying to midwifery school. It was always my dream before, but as the babies came, the dream got pushed back. I started looking into it again at the beginning of this year, after working with a doctor who was extremely high intervention and not open to suggestion from nurses. I felt like I had reached my limit as a labor nurse. I just couldn't do it anymore and deal with that kind of patriarchy towards my patients. I was really excited to find not only a program with a bridge option that would allow me to skip my BSN, but also a distance learning option. Hooray! I wouldn't need to relocate or drive over an hour away to attend classes. I would not have to spend 18 months to 2 years completing my bachelor's degree, only to then apply for a master's program.

And then there's the kids. Expecting another, helping with homework, baseball season, behavior issues related to our work schedules...... I was starting to believe that it wouldn't be fair for me to go back to school and try to be a Mom at the same time. After several long discussions, Bobby and I agreed that one of us needed to be here for the kids, to help them with their school work, to head off behavior problems, to run them to baseball games and ballet rehearsals. I felt like that person needed to be me, and it was that or school, not both. Like I needed to focus on my mothering and not me.

In the end, we decided that Bobby would stay home with the kids while I work and attempt school. I like my job, I have more job security, and a little more flexible schedule than he did. Not to mention that I make more money and I carry the insurance. He quit work about a week ago. And good thing. Not only were we spending an abhorrent amount of money on gas (500 miles/week roundtrip for him), and childcare, his employer decided that in order to save money, they would cut off the phone feature on their data entry gadgets that they entered their deliveries in. Unfortunately, Bobby was still having to call to get directions for most of his deliveries, and, after looking at his phone bill, he apparently is akin to a teenager when it comes to spending time on the phone. Our cell phone bill went from $65 to over $300!!! He doubled his minutes after they shut off their phone feature. So, while the company saved oodles, uh, we did not.

Anyway, the application is in the mail. The transcript has been requested. All that is left is to send another reference, and a phone interview, ugh. Then it truly will be out of my hands. They'll have to decide if I am an eligible candidate. Fingers crossed.