Tess is a 2 month old today. I'm still having a hard time catching her smiles on camera. She'll smile until she sees the camera. Then, she looks at me like "what is that"? She still has a cold and is snorting and coughing. It makes it hard for her to sleep because she is so stuffy. She slept good for me the last couple nights propped up on a pillow. Unfortunately, I didn't notice last night, until I came back from the bathroom that I had propped her right in the middle of my pillow, on my side of the bed, and she was ASLEEP! I somehow managed to scootch down sideways on the foot of the bed to get some sleep before she woke up again. I didn't dare try to move her. She is awake and alert more often these days, and is occasionally, content to just sit and look around. More often than not though, she would prefer to be held. I've discovered, she is a little too big for the bathroom sink, or at least, too squirmy. I tried putting her in the tub today with just a little bit of water, but she tried to roll over in there. Guess I shouldn't have gotten rid of that baby bathtub.
Tatum and Teagan still like to hold her, briefly. Then of course, it's "Mom, can you take her?"
I went back to work on Monday night, when Tess turned 8 weeks. I had originally planned to take 10-12 weeks and should have stuck with that. With this quarter of school starting the same day I went back to work, and a baby with a cold, it was just too much. I should not have planned to go back to work and start this term all in the same week. Luckily, work wasn't sure of my return date and we were overstaffed. I was on call Tuesday night, and only worked 3 hours Wednesday night. I don't go back until the end of next week.
I really needed this little break. I am going to school online, which is daunting in itself. But when I took a look at my assignments this week, I was feeling a wee bit overwhelmed. Okay, not just a wee bit. Like if someone asked me how I was doing, I might have just not said fine. I was on the verge of tears constantly, and thankfully, no one asked how I was doing. Well, they did at work, but I gave the standard I'm fine and moved on before I had time to think differently. I was really starting to believe I had made a huge mistake either with school or work or having another baby. It was all getting to be too much.
Parent teacher conferences were yesterday. Tatum is doing really well, except she talks too much. Well, duh. And she needs to work on recognizing her ABC's. Could you work on that with her? And Travis does really well in Math, and he's improving in writing, but he needs to read more at home. Could you help him with that? I hate how they look at you like you're a bad parent because your kid can't....., or doesn't..... Or maybe that's just my perception. I really just wanted to say, HEY! I have 5 kids! And I'm working and going to school, and trying not to have a nervous breakdown!!! So, no!! I can't .......
I'm adjusting though. Things will get better. Tess will get over her cold and not feel the need to be held constantly. My iron pills will kick in and I won't feel so run down. I will get a couple assignments under my belt to feel like I have accomplished something. Tanner will stop getting detention for not finishing his work. I will go out with my girlfriends and get completely sauced. Oh, woops, that wasn't supposed to be in there.