Monday, August 04, 2008

Super nesting

I've been working on my to do list, and then some. Bobby says I'm just nesting. Well, duh. I managed to coerce him into moving the living and family rooms around. He was not happy about it, and of course, it had to turn into an argument about who does more around the house. Well, me, definitely. Yeah, he helps, but come on..... He seems to think that I just spend an inordinate amount of time on the computer and do absolutely nothing around here. That's right. Groceries just magically appear and his underwear wash and fold themselves. After picking themselves up off the bathroom floor, of course. I had to point out to him that my computer time is directly proportional to his TV time. So there!

He says he would feel sorry for me if the house was spotless when he came home. Yeah. He said that. Out loud. And then we got divorced.

I got to hear the "I work all day" argument, which translates as, "I'm totally self absorbed and forget that not only do you work full time too, but you're 9 months pregnant with MY BABY!!!, And your feet and ankles look like tree trunks." Ugh! Men!!!

So today, while my darling (eyes rolling back into my head) husband was having a day off with one of his buddies to go to a motorcycle race, I was doing laundry, cleaning bathrooms, freezing casseroles, reorganizing the living and family rooms, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, breaking up fights, oh, and watching my ankles enlarge. My dearest love came home, ate some of the homemade chicken noodle soup I made, watched some TV, fell asleep on the couch, then made an early retreat to bed.

And they wonder why we bash them.

I did learn though, that I'm not completely computer retarded. I managed to hook up the wireless, BY MYSELF! Okay, I did call a friend for reinforcement, but I actually figured it out before she got on the phone.

Time is running out. 15 days to go until my official due date. I've been telling everyone that I will deliver between the 8th and 11th though, which, eek!!!, is only 4 days away. Is it possible to be eagerly anticipating something but so not looking forward to it too? I wonder what this little girl will look like. Will she be a mellow baby like the boys, or a diva like her big sister? Will she look like Tatum? Will she have red hair? What about dimples? What about a name? She has been quite active the last few days, perhaps situating herself in there just right. Combined with BH contractions and the constant urge to pee, her movements are down right uncomfortable.

And then there is the whole labor thing. It's going to hurt. Darn it. Not really looking forward to that part of it. I have accepted that she will be born in the hospital, even after my fantabulous homebirth with Teagan. While it was incredibly intense and chaotic at points, it was the most intimate, empowering thing I have ever experienced. I'm scared I won't be able to recreate that feeling in the hospital and I will have regrets. Which sucks, since she will be the last, and I won't have the opportunity to "get it right". Some people just don't get that. You know, the whole, it's all about a healthy Mom and baby. Sure, that's the most important part of it, but it's not the only part. It's also about the experience, how she transitions from being a part of me to being an extension of me. Was it smooth for both of us? Do we have good memories of it?

Ah well, just the late night, early morning ramblings of a very pregnant woman. I guess I'll just let you know how it goes.

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